Good, better, BEST!

This guy is one of several reasons I have to be a better person!

Like many women, I am not immune from the constant weight loss issues that plague people like me who prefer to live in the land of milk and honey.  And, while life isn’t all about weight (and I can easily say that when I’m not tipping the scale to a bigger jean size), I am finding that I have discovered so many life lessons in my journey to lose some baggage.

The other day someone came up to me and told me that they noticed I was losing weight.  It was good to hear that, and encouragement is good because it’s easy to get caught up in fixating on the imperfections we have in our lives.  With that being said, however, there are two extremes we can go to:  1.  We can get so caught up in the praise and compliments of others that we make it our goal to do things simply for the kudos and then what happens when the compliments stop coming?  or 2.  We can take the advice of some well meaning people to focus on only the positive things and ignore our flaws.  For purposes of this blog entry, I’m going to focus on the latter of the two because while it would be great to look at my cellulite through rose-colored glasses, it doesn’t make it go away (just ask the people that have to look at me from behind while I’m in my own little lala land focusing on the “positive things.”).  Sometimes we have to take a good hard look at ourselves and see that some of our shortcomings really are hindering us to be better people and that we need to do something about it.  

I have had to do some hard soul searching at various points in my life.  The Bible says that people will know we are Christians by our love.  Not by our great speaking, amazing talent, powerful prayers, pretty faces, our ability to boss people around, how well we follow the rules, and so on and so forth.  We are identified by love.  Let’s face it people…I wasn’t always this loving and kind.  I am a Christian in the very sense that Jesus is my first love and my life flows out of that.  But there are times in the past that my love deficit would have identified me as belonging to the church of the devil. .  In fact, this guy came up to me at church and said that he had met one of my friends from high school that I haven’t seen since high school.  He wanted to know if I wanted to tell her anything.  I said “tell her I am not the same person she knew then!”  All I was back then was some self-centered teenager who just wanted to be loved but knew nothing about love.  Oh sure, Jim and I delivered Meals on Wheels to elderly people and volunteered for many worthy causes.  But, I didn’t know what it meant to have my life fulfilled by being driven by love.  I only thought my worth back then was defined by what I could succeed at.  And when you live like that, you don’t have true relationship with people because if they don’t make you feel good about yourself, then they don’t last.  

I’m all about self-esteem boosting, but I think we’ve gone too far in this day and age where we are told that we have to make everyone (our kids) feel good about themselves at any cost.  They may feel good about themselves, but it doesn’t mean that all that patronizing is good for them.  Cookies and cupcakes make me feel good, but it doesn’t mean it’s good for me. You need people in your life that challenge you.  You need the people that don’t let you simply ignore your flaws but can tell you like it is, make you face it, and get the victory.  Thankfully, I have let those people into my life to cheer me on.  I enjoy an accolade or too, for sure.  But, I also want those people in my life that don’t let me get away with things if it’s not good for my destiny.  Disclaimer:  this is not permission for everyone who reads this to tell me what I’m doing wrong in life.  What I’m saying is that just as much as I want to attain a healthy weight, I want the rest of me (spirit, soul AND body) to be healthy too.  In all these areas, it means that no amount of positive thinking will make the negative go away.  It takes action…it takes discipline….it takes people...it takes honest evaluation…..it takes change...it takes love...did I mention that it takes ACTION!.  

So some of the things I’m working on are being kinder and preferring other people.  This is really hard sometimes.  The world would be a better place if all of the slow drivers followed the rule that the right lane is for them.  Why do they insist on getting in the FAST lane and do 5 miles under the speed limit or two cars in two different lanes driving the SAME, slow speed and you can’t get around either of them??? ?  I have had to bite my tongue several times and while I don’t have to use symbols for what comes out of my mouth, I have uttered the word “idiot” on several occasions.  So, I’m a work in progress trying to be more patient and realizing that not everything in life has to be an issue.  I smile more, I strike up conversations with people I meet in public because I believe every person has a story to tell and needs to be heard, and I don’t take everything so seriously (which might be annoying to some people).  I try to take the same advice that I give to my kids - it’s not always about you!

Here’s my advice …. Let people in your life who love you and if they love you, they are gonna cheer you on BUT they will also challenge and inspire you to DO better and to BE better (please note, I am not talking about being in a relationship that is verbally, physically or emotionally abusive – there is a difference).  AND, You need to know that you have something to offer others that can help them be better too.   

So my question to you is are you living the good life or are you living the BEST life?