MOTHERHOOD - An Olympic Sport or the Hunger Games?

In a Pinterest generation, it’s so easy to get caught up in the temptation to show what a great mom I am by having the most creative masterpieces for my son to show off in school.  I understand that Pinterest is not the devil.  It’s a tool.  And, I do believe that there are legitimate reasons for being inspired to do fun, awesome crafts and creations for your children.  I think many moms are skilled in this area and really have a love and talent for creating.  I think that we really do want to give the best to our children and so because we all have a different love language, that is going to look different for each person.  I don’t think that the mom that rocks the valentines box or goodie bag should be judged for her expression of that love or her excellence in the way she demonstrates her unique gifting.  However, that doesn’t look the same for everyone.  And, I think we have to be mindful of the motivation behind the quest for the best.  Unfortunately, sometimes we get caught in the trap of satisfying insecurities in our own lives through our children.  Ouch.  That sounds harsh and it’s not meant to be. It’s meant to be a reality check.  How many times do we start out motivated to help our child or to do something nice for them but then somehow it turns into a competition between who has the best mom or parent among their peers?

You might remember the sting of that comparison just a few months ago around Christmas….We don’t do elf on the shelf (yet) in our house but I have a feeling that by Dec 24 he’d be flushed down the toilet.  I can’t keep up with all of the creativity that goes along with such a small little fellow in pointy shoes.  But, I applaud those who can – that’s awesome!  But, for me, it would be a miracle for me to remember to just move him every day. My son would just have to understand that our elf was drafted from London’s Royal Guard and trained to live a stationary, disciplined life.

But, I realize that there is a pressure and a demand for moms to be at the top of their game when it comes to being compared to the other moms.  Here’s the truth though… a secure mom who can thrive in her area of gifting but can encourage and even cheer on those who are gifted in other areas teach their children to do the same.  Motherhood is not an Olympic sport with its own category so why do we have to compete all of the time?  Sometimes I feel like motherhood has become more like the Hunger Games – “may the odds be ever in your favor.” 

Why can’t we just admit that we are not the best at everything, but maybe we are the best at something?  And then why can’t we be happy for those who are demonstrating their best without thinking that somehow it reflects our failures?  If you aren’t happy with where you are at because you know you want to be the best you can be for you and those you love and you are shortchanging yourself, then take action and change it.  But if you aren’t happy with where you are at because someone else is successful then it’s time for a new perspective on who you are and who you are created to be.  There’s no app in life that will do that for you. 

I’m sending my son to school with Valentine goodie bags he mostly put together because I just enjoyed watching him discover and put some love into each bag (and I wanted to take a million pictures of that one moment so I wouldn’t forget it!).  Ok and let’s be honest – it’s just not something that I’m good at.  But, if his class were putting together an exercise routine or therapy session, I’d be all over it.  I’m sure that other kids are going to show up with grandiose goodies bags that far exceed my son’s simple bag, and I’m not going to judge that mom for that.  I think I might hire her next year to put our bags together!  But in the long term, Micah probably won’t remember that goodie bag he received in preschool five years from now, but he will remember that I love him with all of my flaws and imperfections every day.