When I think about a blog , it really is just a bunch of
words isn’t it? Words are powerful. They can build us up or tear us down. I once heard (and I don’t know if it’s true
but it’s a pretty good analogy so I’m gonna use it) that there are sounds in
outer space that just keep going and going.
Those “sounds” just happen to be everything that has been said. The words just keep going on forever and
forever. If that’s true, that’s pretty
scary. Oh how I have wanted to take back
so many things I have said over the course of time. Most regrettably though too, is the fact that
there are things I wish I would have said that I didn’t (in a good way). Anyone who said sticks and stones may break
my bones but words will never hurt me was a BIG FAT LIAR! So since I can’t get my space suit on and go
and retrieve all of those stupid things I’ve said in the past, I hope that I
can do a better job in the future.
Words affect every area of our lives. Even if you’re a monk living somewhere and have
taken a vow of silence, you’re still affected by words. You still think thoughts in your head. Those thoughts also consist of words. And those thoughts can even be more
tormenting. It’s funny how one person
can say something very brief, maybe even in passing, but those words stay with
us enough to make us meditate on them for a VERY long time…even long after that
person has left. Sometimes it’s a few
hours. Sometimes, it’s years.
Well, there’s no more tormenting words that those spoken as
a compliment only to be perceived as an insult.
Let me explain…..
So, those of you who know me observed that I was substantial
in size during my last pregnancy. Most
women look like they have a basketball stuffed in their shirt….I had about
three basketballs. I was eating for two and
I looked like I was about 2 or 3 people in size. I couldn’t even walk to the back of Walmart
for milk I was so big. By the end of the
pregnancy, most people were convinced I was going to have my own reality show
since I couldn’t possibly be having 1 child..maybe about 5! Well, there was only 1 kid in there and thankfully,
after having Micah, I lost that extra weight pretty quickly through exercise,
diet, and a very energetic and
cooperative thyroid.
Feeling pretty good about fitting into my pre-pregnancy
clothes and going out into public able to walk again, a lot of people
recognized said achievement and congratulated me on such by saying “you look
great…” Well, if that were the end of
the story, we wouldn’t have a blog here would we?
So, while I appreciated the kudos, it was those next 5 words
that stung every time – “you look great….for
just having a baby.” What does that
even mean? Well, I’m sure that the giver
of that statement meant it in the utmost positive way possible. But, to me, the overthinker in everything,
all I could think of was that if I hadn’t of just had a baby, I would look like
crap.
The nice three words that preceded those awful 5 words was like someone giving me
a pat on the back while putting a sticky note there that says kick me.
Oh I’m sure it wasn’t that bad in comparison to all of the
terrible things that have been spoken by mankind since the beginning of time
that are floating in space for all of the aliens to hear, but to me at the time
was hurtful. And, not because it was
meant to be, but because in my mind at the time, I could never measure up and
even in doing something right, I still failed.
Was that the true reality?
Did those who said those words mean to make me feel like that? Certainly not ( or at least I hope not). But, truth be told, words affect us but even
worse yet is our perception of those words.
And that perception is clouded by our past experiences, other words that
have been spoken about us, and how we have chosen to let those things shape
what we believe about ourselves. Unfortunately, someone else who may have said
something bad about us is the apple in the bunch that spoils it for every other
apple that comes along in life. We are
so busy wanting to make up for that bad word by expecting all everyone else to
make up for the one that caused so much damage in the first place. And, all along that innocent apple had no
idea what happened in the past – they just wanted to give you a pie! Simply put, we can’t impose our past hurt
onto unsuspecting others and expect them to make it all better in hopes that
they say or do just the right thing.
But, there is hope in
the despair. The Bible tells me that I
was created for a good purpose, destiny and future. Can I get an amen?
So, I needed to
change my perception about myself and look hard into the fact that I had let
some of my own shortcomings and hurtful words cloud my ability to see who I
truly was – I was not someone who was a failure, I was just someone who was
very, very big and then lost a lot of weight.
Not all is lost in this story…..It’s been almost two years
since I had my baby boy and I’ve still kept the weight off. So, if you want, you can just say “you look
great!” Haha….actually, the point of
this blog is two-fold:
1. Do you have some
misguided perceptions about yourself that you need to deal with (ie hurtful
words in the past that have clouded how you think about yourself?)
2. Have you said a
kind word to someone today? If not,
there’s still time….don’t live your life with regret.
Here’s my word for you today…. You are loved! You really, truly are……
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